


Dated Script

by ImAlsoHere



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:21:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22725337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImAlsoHere/pseuds/ImAlsoHere
Summary: Draft script
Kudos: 1





	Dated Script

Are we allowed to say YOLO ironically now or uh... still a faux pas?

Now Ideally, all of these isolated scenes would occur as background plot in seperate stories, giving it time to simmer until there's a dedicated resolution string to give it a proper sense of closure. But you know. I don't get paid enough to write that much content. Although this sub-plot might serve as a good catalyst to get some needed exposition eeked in without ruining any mystiques...

|Insert opener and lead-in regarding the sub-plot that carries this between relevant central plot moments, likely something as simple as the whole crew working on party prep (INSIDE DA HOUSE), then S&P500 say they're gonna head out to get something and then head for the door  
Make it a visual bit, potentially some dialogue but the main interest is showing how smoothly everyone is working, both in general and specifically with each other, drive home how good everything's going for 'em|

*So for this dialogue segment, they're doing random things as they're walking out of the (House? Temple? Hemple) and make their way to wherever Lion is parked*

S: This celebration is going to be great! |Insert Statement regarding specifics of celebration|

P: You know, Steven, this is the anniversary of a very troubling time in Gem history. You should take it more seriously.

S: I know, I know. But you know what they say, "why hold a funeral when you can throw a wake"! |This line is out of character: Rework|

P(Chiding): *Steven*! You shouldn't be so crass.

S(Playfully Facetious, (chuckling slightly): *Sorry Pearl*. But you have to admit it'll be nice for everyone to get together again, they've all been so busy it's hard to stay in touch.

P(Sighing): You're right... Just be sure to remember what this means, ok?

S(Warmly): Alright Pearl.

*Lion Warp*

*Both Dismount*

P: You go ahead and grab everything, I'll wait here and make sure it doesn't wander off.

S: Really? You're sure you'll be comfortable alone with Lion?

P(Attempting Confidence But Betraying Their Discomfort): Who me? (Awkwardly Leans Close To Lion) I'm basically their favorite!

*Lion does one of their growl things, startling Punxsutawney and causing her to jump and exclaim*

*After a moment of realization, Phil gives Shiaparelli a wry, slightly embarrassed smile*

S(Chuckling, Happy that Pearl is making an attempt to connect with Lion): Whatever you say, Pearl!

*Shaun Bean walks over to the stone platform, and notices that the wall partitions are raised*

S: That's weird, I don't remember leaving all these wall thingies up...

*Sasparilla takes a bit to navigate through the wall thingies, which are conveniently different in design from the last time to better aid dramatic tension; lucky me!*

*After arriving at the clearing in the center of the platform, it's revealed that there is a gem sitting on the middle of the floor, facing away from Shamwow and audibly weeping*

*After processing the shit right in front of their very eyes, Sauce-Boss shakes themselves from their confusion and begins to slowly approach the gem*

S: Hey, are you ok?

*The gem whips their head around in shock, they're visibly terrified, obviously in the middle of an absolutely wracking session of bawling, and shrink back a bit when they notice SugarPlumFairy; all of which kindles in SammySoda their absolute desire to help people*

S(Calmly): Hey, I'm not sure who you are, but I'm Steven.

*The gem attempts to scramble backwards, but their positioning combined with their frenzy ends up making it more of a falling tumble*

S(Ending the line with a Dry chuckle, attempting to defuse the situation): Don't worry. I'm not gonna hurt you, I don't bite.

*The gem brings themselves off of their back and onto their elbows, they make movements to drag themselves away from SupperTime, albeit slower than before*

S: It's okay, you wanna tell me your name? Tell me what's wrong?

*The Gem says nothing, they still look terrified, but seem to have stopped moving away*

S: That's alright, you don't have to say anything, I'll just do all the talking. Like I said, my name's Steven, I'm a member of the Crystal Gems, and whatever the problem is, we can help.

*SuperMario has been slowly making his way towards the Gem this whole time, and now finds himself only a few feet away from them. Despite still looking like a mess, they seem to have calmed down immensely*

*After a few more moments of walking over to them, Sauerkraut reaches out his hand to help the Gem up. After flinching back as he offered his hand, the Gem takes a moment to process what the motion means, then slowly begins to put their hand out to take it. But right as they're about to, Peewee interrupts*

P(Overwhelmingly Frightened): STEVEN!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!

*The Gem shrinks back again, and seems to be right back at square one of being frenzied |(During whatever motion they fall back with, they yoink out their Gem Weapon, a small spike)|*

S(to the gem, as they first jump back): No! Don't-

P(Seriously on edge): Steven!! Get away from them!!!

*Supine turns to respond, but is caught off guard by the sheer look of death on P-Diddy's face. They look back to the Gem, and begins taking a few tentative steps back*

|*The Gem's glare is consumed by a terrified anger as they stare at Pickle, until they notice that Shakopee has started backing up, and seems to be afraid of them, which snaps the rage out of the Gem*|

P(Aggressively, to the gem(by this point they have a spear drawn)): What are you doing here!?!??

*The Gem scrambles back a bit from the direction of Platypus, they look to be tearing up again, and seem to glance to Stephen for some kind of help*

S(Concerned, On-Edge, Confused and Conflicted(At a quieter, speaking voice)): Pearl.

P(Aggressive, but an element of fear is creeping in): How are you back here!?!?!

*The Gem scrambles even farther, and is definitely crying now*

S(Still all those things I said before(Slightly louder now, but not quite a shout)): Pearl!

P(At Wit's End, Completely Overwhelmed and holding nothing back in their tone of their exasperation, seemingly to be shouting more at the universe than at the Gem): WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE!!!! |This line might be too on-the-nose, no fun in being too to-the-point with your audience|

*The Gem has made their way very far back, and seems now on the verge of imploding on themselves emotionally, they look over at Stout Shako one more time*

S(Full on shouting now): PEARL! STOP!

*It's too late, the Gem rolls themselves over onto their stomach as they claw their way onto their feet, placing their backs to the Duo, they sprint away from them extremely quickly, scrambling over the first wall they run into and disappearing*

*There are a fair few moments of silence, Periwinkle remains in a combat stance as they grind through their thoughts and turmoils, as ShipsAhoy also takes a bit to figure out what happened*

S(Bewildered(Emphasis on questioningly, as opposed to accusatorily): What was that?

*Pickles, without a word, turns away and begins rapidly walking back the way they came while wiping their eyes*

S: Pearl!?!

*After a moment, SemperFi begins jogging after Popsicle*

S: Pearl!

*SwiggitySwooty catches up with SnowConeHair right about where they parked*

S(Irritation and Concern lead to an almost Commanding Tone): Pearl! You have to talk to me.

P(Attempting to act as if everything's Normal, but their tone is poorly guarded): Come on Steven, we have to go.

S: Pearl! What is going on!?

P: *gets on Lion, kinda futzes around on them for a bit* *awkward laugh, with that attempted joking tone that is characteristic of Pearl trying to cover something up* Oh, how do you make this thing go *awkward laugh*!?

S: Pearl!!

P(suddenly exacerbated and coming across as acutely terrified): Steven!!! *Please*! I'll explain everything later, but we have to tell Garnet!

*Meatwad, caught off guard, just looks at Clam Chowder for a second, and sees the extremely grim look on their face. After a moment they hop on Lion, and does whatever makes it go.*

|Steven says "Pearl" too much in this segment... bah humbug, I'll fix it when I actually develop skills at writing. So basically never then? Shut up me. Truth hurts don't it? I have a problem...*|

*Cut from them warping to the inside of the Hemple, where Amygdala and Gascoigne are doing party prep tasks*

|A: Hey, can you pass the glue?  
G: No, this is our last bottle; you can't eat this one.  
A: Aw, man...|

*Sherbet and Pecan burst through the front door, Althazar and Galthazar look up from what they were doing*

A: Hey party people! Did ya get what we need?

P(Hurriedly and Shakily): Garnet, there was a Halite|Placeholder, until I can come up with something that doesn't suck|!

A(Befuddled, but Unconcerned) What?

S(Befuddled and Concerned): Who?

G(The only one with a grasp on how concerning that is; befuddledly): How!?

P(Shook, to Garnet): I don't know how, or why, but it's out there *somewhere*.

G(With their typical commanding tone in times of crisis): It got away?

P(Shookened): I'm sorry, it all happened so fast...

S(Irritated): Will someone please tell me what's going on!

A(Nonplussed (NA Definition)): I have no idea, dude.

*Gawker and Peeper look to Stalker with concern and then to each other, in that typical "How the fuck we gonna tell this* nonverbal type situation*

*After a few moments awkward silence*

P(Unconfidently, Very stop and start(Repeated breaks in pacing of varying degrees, trying to buy themselves time to think of what to say)): Well Steven, A Halite is a...

*Pogram turns to Genocide for help*

G(As Direct as Ever): A Halite is a very bad kind of Gem that we haven't seen since the war, we thought they were all gone.

S: What made them so bad?

G: They were made to shatter. |The struggle here is figuring out how to get them to elaborate for conversational pacing, while maintaining G-Baby's Taciturn nature|

A(Somewhat oppositional-y): Well maybe this one's different.

P(Solemnly): It's very unlikely, Halite production was highly regulated by the Diamonds.

A(Slightly Sourly, to Garnet): Well can't you just like *see* where they are or something?

(Line Variations because I can't come up with a good one)  
G: Halites are upredictable, they were made to be anathema to Gems, they have means of getting through to anyone. |This line feels off|  
G: Halites are upredictable, they were made as a bane to |all?| Gems, they have means of getting through to anyone |any|all?| of us?|. |This line feels off|  
G: Halites are upredictable, they were made to be bane to Gems, they have means of getting through to any of us. |This line feels off, but I've been told it's the least off of the set, apparently it can't be expected of 8 year olds to know the word "anathema"... friggin' 8 year olds...|

A(With an Amethyst pronunciation flair): Oh...

S: So what do we do?

G: All we can do is be on-guard for when they come back.

A: Well should we cancel the party?

P(Defeatist and Clammy): No. With the Diamonds coming, this is too important to postpone.

*Awkward and oppressive silence for a bit as no one really know what to do, Aimless probably makes a raspberry or something*

G(Suddenly, with great energy): Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!  
*With a great flair they start up, and everyone kind of thinks they're doing something regarding the Hammermill situation; then they all realize Gambit has just gone back to the party-prep they were doing before, like folding stuff or something*

*After a second of everyone just being a bit confused and startled by the sudden energy, Gizmo looks back up from what they're doing*

G(Still with vigor): We have a deadline, let's get a move on!

*Everyone snaps into doing work, and for the most part spirits are lifted*

|60 Line Mark|  
|S:26 P:19 G:8 A:7|  
|S:43% P:32% G:13% A:12%|  
|S:26 O:34|  
|S:43% O:57%|

|Insert some action about the sub-plot that carries this between relevant central plot moments, like them just getting back into the rhythm of party prep, what with everything being really awkward and tense now. Could be funny.  
Start with a segment intentionally identical to the opener (party prep montage type deal), except everyone's kind of stumbling around each other, a nice little visual representation & contrast to demonstrate the discord set within the CreamsodaCrew already(PREP IS STILL INSIDE DA HOUSE)|

\--------------------------------------  
A different day (like the next one, except IS IT?!)

*Crazy Crew are doing prep, still. For the most part they're functional again, and the discordant visual message is fading. Well, PixieDust and AcidTrip are doing prep, GiveItToMeBaby is off somewhere presumably doing something, and Sugar; while still within the same "room" is in a different section of it, so they can hear and see the goings on, but they aren't a part of the goings on initially. Syphalis is doing... something... until they enter the "room" room with everyone else (THOSE ROOMS BEING INSIDE DA HOUSE)*

A: Man, this stuff is taking forever.

P: Well when you're throwing a party for the Diamonds, you have to be prepared.

A: Maybe on Homeworld, but this is Earth. Can't we just throw them a party Earth style?

P: If by "Earth Style", you mean "getting trapped under a pile of trash for 2 weeks until Garnet finds you", then no.

A: That was one time!

P: Besides, we all get to add our own little touch to the festivities.  
\------------  
*Shirley enters the room*

P: Oh Steven! I'm so glad you're here, could you help me with this?

*Paddle grabs a box full of random paraphernalia*

A: Really? That's what you're going with?

P(Intentionally ignoring Axolotl): Could you go around to all the warp pads and hide these for me?

A: The celebration is like, a week away. Why are you having him hide them all now?

P: Well this way he has enough time to find a good spot for them all!

A: Dude...

S: I'd be happy to help, Pearl!

*Staccato takes the box*

*Pizzicato goes back to Party Prep, and Sophomore just awkwardly stands there for a bit*

S: So... what is this?

P: Hmm? Oh, right. This box has a few little keepsakes that I want you to go hide around all the warp pads, because for the celebration, I'll be doing... *dramatic pause* A scavenger hunt! (Cheesy Smile and pose)

A: *Facetious sigh of dismay*

S: That sounds great, Pearl! I'll get right on it.

*Walks over to Warp Pad*

P: Oh! And, Steven!

S: Yeah?

P: Garnet says to be careful!

S: Don't worry, I'll be fine.

*Warps the fuck outta there*

|Just like a sequence of Volgograd putting the Trinkets in spots around the various Warp Pads, showcasing how each area has developed and changed over time, and with a few little referential actions thrown in. The items he hides are often throwbacks to the areas he hides them in| 

\---------------------EXPERIMENTAL-------------------------

*Skipper arrives at |area(Sky Spire? Yeah, let's go with Sky Spire; at least as a placeholder for now)|, after taking a few steps off of the Warp Pad, they set down their Box of Random Crap, and fish around in it for a moment. They pull out a small statuette of a lizard, and after a second of holding it, shrug to themselves; and get up to venture forth*

*Soup walks through the Spire, soaking in how it's changed over the years, slowly making their way to the top.*

*Once Sheldon arrives at the top, they begin looking around for a place to place the placement*

*As they look around they notice, tucked away in a corner of the Spire, the Halite; curled up and fetal on the floor just as the were at the armory*

*After stifling an exclamation, SuperGlue begins to slowly approach the Halite. Upon drawing closer, they notice from the steady breathing that the Halite is actually asleep, Sumbitch breathes a sigh of relief*

*(Insert arbitrary contrivance that wakes up The Halite). The Halite begins to stir, and SnoopDog has himself a little freakout*

*The Halite sits up, and turns to SummerVacation, but they have a look in their eyes that freezes SugarDaddy, they're hazy; almost glassy, starkly different from the manically expressive eyes they had during the confrontation at the armory*

H(Steadily, quietly, and monotonously): Are you real?

*SquirtsMcGee is deeply confused, and takes a moment before they give a bewildered response*

S(Bewildered; as previously mentioned): What?

H(As unnervingly unemotional as before, however despite the steadiness of their tone, their speech is riddled with odd pausing): I see things, when my eyes are closed. They can't be there, but I see them. I can't tell when my eyes are closed anymore. *Halite's tone and inflection seem to reset* Are you real?

-

S(Still confuddled): What are you talking about?

H: You're not very quick, are you? When I close my eyes(puts their hands over their eyes as they close them), I see things that aren't real. (puts hands down) Are you real?

S: You mean sleeping?

H(Solid Snake Voice(I'm joking(Well actually I'm making fun of my ability to write dialogue)same thing really, you are a joke (shut up, jackass)oh you wanna fuckin' go?(You can't distract from your shitty writing with bad comedy forever)well at least we're both in agreement that it sucks): Sleeping?

S: You know, sleeping. When you lie down and close your eyes, like this. (SwimClubLifetimeMembership lies down like a goober, with the Halite out of their sight-line)

*Halite regards Shotgun quizzically, their eyes have cleared slightly, but they're still in a haze*

S: And when you sleep, you dream.

H(A subtle melancholy and dread is creeping into their tone, a small hint that this path of questioning is basically going to lead to them breaking down. Yet their voice cracks with a hopeful inquisitiveness to it): Dream?

S: Yeah, all your thoughts get mixed up into this fun little movie- |Trying to do a callback, and keep the phrasing similar to as it was before, without just jacking it in it's entirety|

H(Interrupting Sampson, almost desperately): Why do they hurt?

S(Confused again, as is his wont when I write lines I guess): What are you talking-  
*Seemen is cut off as they sit up, and look to Halite. Halite grabs Spearow desperately, and starts talking over them before they've finished*

*Halite grabs Sean and it comes across almost aggressively. They stare them in the eyes as they speak, the tears running down their face doing little at first to make them less commanding in their sudden act*

|Halite desperately clings to Steven for some kind of answers, after millenia of being lost and alone; someone shows up and answers everything else so trivially. (is it cheating to just straight up tell you the motives of actions? Yes, yes it is.) anyways: they're still an unstable muderer at heart, so they never really learned how to deal with anything in ways other than aggression|

H(Breaking up, yet speaking dominantly, bordering on demandingly): Why do the dreams hurt so much?

*Shel is shook by the sheer number of contradictions they have to process: Smoll Crying Girl Being Very Aggressive and Demanding, yet Aggressive and Demanding Girl is also Very Visually Vulnerable and Broken. What is do now, Steve? Are you yet able to decide if Friend or if Foe? Or if Banana Fruitcake, even?*

S(Trying to stammer out an answer, but Halsey is barely letting him speak): What do you-

H(Getting Schwifty-er by the second): The dreams! They're all smiles and kindness but they sting like knives!

S: I-

H(There's a solemn note to their voice as they speak, this is really the crux of what's eating them up; even now, the moment they start bringing it up the floodgates really let loose): I get- I get to see her again... I get to see her again but it's my fault she's gone!

*Spam just stares for a moment, lost for words*

H(The frantic tinge in their voice seems to have completely dropped out; now they only sound defeated): It makes me so happy to see her again... but it's not real... it'll never be real... *starts choking up* Why won't the dreams stop mocking me?

*Homo's grip on Stubble loosens as their defeated tone spreads to the rest of them*

*Smowzow is silent for a bit, still just grinding though these events*

S: I may not know what you're talking aout, but I can help you!

H(Still defeated, but they've regained composure from when they broke down): No, you can't. Fake people can't help me.

S(Trying desperately to counter Homeless' defeated tone with some weird enthusiasm): But I'm not fake, I'm real! See?

*Hamhock doesn't seem to notice, stuck inside their own head, mumbling to themselves*

H(Muttering to themselves, holding their head and rocking back and forth): I should've shattered her, I should've shattered her, I should've shattered her, I should've shattered her...  
\------  
S(Shookened-ness eeking into their voice, since shatter be a no-no): What?

H(nearly hyperventilating now): I could've saved her, I could've saved her, I could've saved her, I could've saved her!

S(Putting aside the unease of the shattering comment to try and help them): Hey! Calm down!  
*Samsara reaches out to put their hand on Hooker's shoulder to try and calm them, but Hipster freaks at the sudden contact and yeets him away*

S(exclaiming): Holy afuckin SHieetT!  
*Virgin Mary bubble-shield-or-whatever's himself as he goes flying, as they begin flying away, the Hummus looks almost shocked at the last second over what they've done. The shield causes him to bounce his way off the walls and columns, circling down the pathway leading around the spire like a pinball going nuts, busting up a lot of the area on his way*

S(exclaims with every hit made against walls or columns, because comedy)

*SamuraiJack unbubbles themselves as they slide across the ground at the entrance to the base of the spire, ending up on their back, they can see Hackeysack leap from the top and turn into a fucking bird before flying the-fuck outta there*

S(Groans/sighs as they close their eyes and let their head rest on the ground, because ouch, also because the small one escaped from their clutches once again)

*ScotchBonnet lies there for a couple-a seconds, until they hear AppleConsumer shouting their name from a distance away, as they approach*

A(calling for Superman in search, without fully knowing that they're there) Steven! Steeven! Hey, Steven!... Oh, hey Steven.

*Steve quickly gets up as soon as Adam notices them*

S(Panically): Oh! Hey, Amethyst!

A: Whatcha been doi-woah-ho-ho-ho! What happened here!?  
*Angler's looking behind Squidward; who, in turn, turns around to see the spire's new, rather "busted up" aesthetic*

S(Even more Pancakedness, failing at playing it cool): *Awkward laugh* What do you mean? Nothing happened, heh, it was like this when I-

A(Cutting Steamroll off, flatly): It was the Halite wasn't it.

S(Flatly): Yup.

*Ambler whistles as they check out the building*

A: They really did a number on this place, Pearl's gonna flip when she-

S(Cutting Asymptote off): You can't tell Pearl!

A: What?

S: Or-or Garnet.

A(Matter of factly): Steven, this Gem's got them tripping over themselves when they aren't even doing anything; they're gonna want to know that you came toe-to-toe with the guy. We have to tell 'em.

S: I know, but...

A: Even if we didn't tell them, how are they gonna miss *this*!  
*Addage gestures to the busted spire, and very conveniently, right as they do a bit of it crumbles; because comedy*

S: I know, I know! But... you just can't tell them yet. Please? For me?

*Addler looks at Sherlock judgementally for a second*

A: D'aww, how could I say no to you? You may not be in the shortie-squad anymore, but I still love ya.

S: Thanks, Amethyst.

A: Now come on, we still have to come up with an excuse for Garnet about why you took so long.

S: Huh?

A: Oh, right, Garnet got worried about how long you were taking, so she made us all go out and look for you.

S: Really?

A: Yeah, I thought it was weird, too. But they probably know what they're doing.

S: Yeah, probably.

\-----End of that Piece of Shit Scene-----

\-----The Start Of The Scene Where I Actually Resolve Shit I Swear-----

*The Full Crazy Krew is in their house, picking up prepared festive items (like paper strings of cut-out people, I don't know, man; Do I look like the kind of guy who has ever been to a party?) and getting ready to warp out, Gun is the first on the warp pad*

P(excited): It's finally here, isn't this exciting?  
*Popgun gets on the warp pad with their load of goods*

A: I thought you hated parties.

P: Oh, I could take-or-leave the celebration, but we finally get to put up all these decorations!

A: You are such a nerd.  
*Automaticrifle gets on the warp pad with their 2 cut-out ducks*

S: Come on, Amethyst, it's gonna be fun!  
*Shotgun gets on the warp pad with their bagofcrap*

A: *Let's out an over-dramatic exasperated sigh as the warp pad activates and makes them fade out* |Or they just said "Neeeeeeeerd" for a really long time, fading out at the "Neeeeeeeee-"|

*The crew arrives at a warp pad in a hill-mountainous-wherever region that has a foresty vibe to the areas surrounding it*

A: *fades in with the warp finishing their sigh or "-eeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrd"*

G: We can start setting up the party here.

P: Alright, Garnet can work on the pavilion, Steven, you can work on refreshments, and I'll work on the decor.

*Guacamole strides off and gets to work, but for the other two there's a bit of a pause of silence*

P: Steven?

S: I have no idea what any of that means.

P: Just set up a table and put snacks on it.

S: OK!

P: And Amethyst?

A: Yeah?

P: Try not to break anything.

A: Got it.

*AustinPowers smashes a plate on the ground*

P: I said try *not* to break anything!

A: Oh. Uhhh... right.

P: *Exasperated Sigh* Just help Steven.

A: On it.

*Amethyst drops the other plates they're holding and runs over to Summertime. The plates get fucking reked m8*

P: This is going to be a long day...

*Time skip to later that day because I am a bad writer who uses crutches like time skips (About Noon, or shortly thereafter, they arrived at early morning)*

*Things are proceeding well, There's a big tent or something I don't know how people hold events that go on outside. There's a main area that has some chairs, there's a place with snacks or whatever, the whole area is decorated fairly fancily*

*Squiggly has just finished setting up the last of the chairs that they have, and looking around to see that they need a lot more to fill the area (Auxillary is also setting up chairs, but they're behind Systems)*

S: That's the last of the chairs.

A: Looks like we still need some more.

*Puma climbs down from a nearby ladder*

P: We have a few back at the temple.

G: I'll go grab some.  
*Gamma starts for the warp pad*

P: I'll help too!  
*Panda jogs after Goomba*

*Annie looks at Stannie*

S: You can go help them, I can work on the snacks while I wait.

A: Thanks, Steven. Hey guys wait for me!

*They all warp, babyyyyyyyyyyyy*

*StevieWonder smiles at them as they warp out, then walks over into the tent-or-whatever and starts laying out a spread. Then they find like a juicy kit-kat or something and start snacking instead. Like it could be that one ice cream thing he nearly came for in those early episodes, and there'd be some lines from him talking about it. But I amn't prepared to deal with the deep impacts bringing one of those back might have on the lore*

*Slut just goes to town on that Cookie Puss until they hear a loud crash from outside the tent*

*Sophomore goes out to investigate the crash, and sees Humbug recoiled in shock as they had accidentally bumbed into a chair and knocked it over, resulting in a domino chain of crashing chairs, after a moment Hitler looks over and sees Sergeant, and freezes in that guarded position. Hitler looking at him causes Sergeant to freeze as well, with their face covered in ice cream remains. It's very awkward.*

*Thankfully, after only a few seconds, the rest of the krazy killa krew show up with those chairs, which causes the situation to immediately de-escalate, and everything returns to normal...*

*Sike*

A: Hey, Steven, we're back with those...! (Notices the Heinkel frozen in a position like a deer in the headlights) Oh...

G: Steven! Get away from there!

*Gamer and the others toss away the folding chairs they're carrying, and draw their various weapons*  
\------  
G: Halite, surrender now and no one has to get hurt! |A bit of a boring line, innit? Shut up. I mean, ideally you'd want them to make a rallying cry for the krew that also ends up being a veiled trigger that get's Hungis going. I said shut up. Or really something that subtly lets the veiwer know basically only Steen really cares about the whole "no one getting hurt" addendum that you have here. Shshshshsh.|

*Heegler makes like they're gonna bolt again*

S: Halite, you can't keep running away! Let us help you!

*HeartAttack stops, and seems to chug through an internal conflict for a second, before muttering a response*

H(Muttering, like I said): Fine, I'll stop running...  
*Hispanic gets into a ready stance, preparing to fight, but of course Sven doesn't notice*

S: Ok, that's good. Now we can-

*Spleen gets cut off as a big fight starts*

*So, since coming up with a scuffle and running through it action-by-action would be about the dryest thing in the universe, I'm just gonna do a quick list of the main things being toyed with here: pretty much the entirety of the surrounding environment gets mushed, the newcomer mainly fights by climbing on people, what with only having limited strength and being very small and all. So, for example, if G-baby were to try to punch 'em, they'd just monkey-bar off their extended arm onto their back. As for AckAck they probably just twist them up in their own kinkwhips. Popper goes down last, or rather, gets targeted by Hissyfit last. They put up the longest fight, what with that being a good way to gain time to demonstrate that Pale has a personal knowledge and want to beat the ass of this new dude, most of the damage done to the environment occurs during the bit between these two, what with the lasers and spears and spear-lasers. Pinprick likely has some dialogue expositing small hints about their, uh... "experiences", with this bruh. Meanwhile Shazbot is on the sidelines trying to get everyone to stop fighting the whole time, because pacifism.*

*Anywho, as the fight draws to a close, everything's busted, Poor has actually managed to land a few bops on Hiccup, but they're also fairly obviously fatigued. Then Pupper does a final wrap-up of their "Vague, Not-So-Vague" veiled jabs at the gem. Without the context of the other scattered statements it doesn't mean much, but you know, fuck it*

P(Emotionally charged): How could you do that to Rose!?

*This sets Heinrich off, and causes them to go on a full-bore assault on Pitt, Pepper gets flounced, and tumbles onto the floor, very much defeated*

*Hidden stands over PowerPuff; pulls out their gem weapon, a small spike, and raises it over their head, winding up to bring it down right onto Puffle*

*Gak-Attack and Aquarius are too far to intervene, but they start desperately shouting for Plywood to get out of there, which gets Steer's attention; who uses his glowing space-brain to realize that Hazelnut is about to severely injure Poprocks in some way*

*It's all very dramatic, very artsy; much slow-motion and cutting between shots and whatnot. Just take my word on it.*

*Hooble brings their spike-majigger down on Pool; at this point it's pretty clear that they're gonna plant it right in Potpourri's face*

*Shub'Niggurath comes in at the last second with a clutch shield, preventing Potter from getting shattered, and knocking the spike out of Hot's hands; sending them stumbling backwards*

*Hipbone falls back on their ass, and Stickfigure is now taking things seriously, what with a serious face on and whatnot*

SS(The extra "S" stands for "Serious"): That's enough!

*The seriousShaggy face combined witht the jolt of the counter knock Hackeysack for a loop, who soaks in the environment with a frightened look on their face before looking at their hands with abject terror. And then, you guessed it, they flee after looking to Sidney one last time; they run for a second until they reach a point when the terrain starts sloping downwards more steeply and then leap off the ground and turn into a fucking bird again and fly off*

*Squall watches with shield raised until they've confirmed to their liking that BirdmanOfAlcatraz isn't coming back, then drop the shield and immediately swap into extremely worried child mode over Panty*

S(Very Worried; Much like A Child): Pearl! Pearl! Pearl, are you ok? Talk to me!

*Galifreyan and Amelia arrive on the scene*

S: Pearl?

P: *Unintelligible garbled gibberish as they sit up and put their hand on their head*

S: Pearl!  
*Hugs Picadilly*

A: Careful, Steven. Hug her too hard and you might poof her.

P: Oh, I'm fine. Just caught me off guard, that's all.

S: Pearl! She almost...

P: I'm fine, Steven, really.

G: Are you sure you're ok?

P: Yes, she just caught me off guard. Really, I'm ok.

A: If you say so.

P: It's you two I'm worried about. Amethyst?

A: What are you looking at me for? She just got a few lucky hits in.

P: Garnet?

G: *Thumbs Up*

G: Steven, we have to-

S: I know, we have to go after her.

A: What?

S: She's a danger to everybody, we have to do something.

A: How are we gonna stop them if they just totally whooped us?

G: If they're running away, they're probably weakened. If we can catch them off guard, we might have a chance.

S: And this time, there's no holding back. |Well I'd say that's just about the cheesiest thing you'd ever written|

\-----End Of That Scene I Lied About Resolving Shit Ha Ha Fuck-----

*Starts pretty much where the last one left off, I just made a hard end because clickbait dialogue haha you got pranked bruh*

A: Well how are we gonna catch them, they were flying pretty fast.

S: I think I have an idea...

*Cut to the Killobite Kajigger Krew pushing S-baby's G-daddy's Van towards a Warp Pad*

GC: Can a car even use the Warp Pad?

P: When Steven told me the idea (pushes van), I was pretty skeptical (pushes van again). But thinking about it (pushes van for the last time), it should work! You only need a Gem to activate a Warp Pad, and then it'll teleport anything standing on it!

GC: Can a car even stand?

A: Isn't it standing *still* right now?

GC: Yeah, I guess... Wait, what do you guys need my van for anyways?

G: Because we're chasing a-

S(cutting Gaylord off): Because we're going on a road trip! (Aside, to Gimble) If you tell him it's something dangerous, he might want to help.

*The Crew starts getting in the van*

G: Yes, a road trip.

GC: A road trip? Can I come?

G: No.

S(Very hurriedly): Thanks for lending us the van, we'll be back in a bit, bye!  
*Warps immediately*

GC: ... Was it something I said...?

*Cut to the crew warping, it's a rather... uh... "bumpy" ride, you know, teeth rattling out of their heads, Van nearly careening out of the stream right as they're arriving at their destination, normal stuff.*

*Another cut to their warp destination, it's serene and quiet... Then they finally arrive careening out of the warp yelling and tumbling around inside the van, again, normal stuff.*

*Eventually the van slides to a stop, and everyone tumbles around one final time*

*Ambulation stumbles out of the Van*

A: Ok, I am *Never* doing that... again...  
*falls down face-first*

*Parambulation stumbles out as well*

P: I think I'm going to have to re-organize everything in my Gem after that...  
*leans back against van*

*Standby opens the driver-side door and just falls out onto his face*

S(Muffled, what with his face being planted firmly in the ground): Ow.

*Gesus casually gets out of the van*

G: I guess I'm driving, then.

*Collective groaning from the other 3*

G: Alright, everybody in the back.

*Groans of acknowledgement as they pile in the back*

*Serruptitties recovers somewhat as Garrulous climbs in the front and starts the van*

S: Hey, Garnet, is there any music in this thing?

*Gip turns on the music player*

*A song by Simple's Old-Man starts playing*

*GoodieBag turns off the music player*

G: No.

*The Crew starts driving off*

A: Good call.

S: It's not that bad.

*Fade to later, Gumby is still driving, Aquamarine is "entertaining" themselves, and Pyurig is... well they're probably trying to organize the back of the van*

S: Hey, Pearl?

P(not turning away from their tasks): Yes, Steven?

S: What was all that stuff earlier, when you were fighting the Halite?

*Piggy pauses for a moment, then resumes what they were doing as they give an answer.*

P: I have no idea what you are talking about.

S: Come on, Pearl. Ever since this gem showed up you won't tell me anything; it's like I'm a kid again!

*Pruggy lets out a long sigh*

P: Sorry, it's not you; I just don't like talking about it...

A: Yeah, we can tell.

G: Quiet, Amethyst.

P: Thanks. *Youtuber Apology Video Sigh* Back during the war, or, a bit before the war; when Rose Quartz was just an annoyance to them, the other Diamonds pressured Pink to use Halites to try and shatter her, to shatter Rose before she could incite any more of a rebellion.

A: And she did it?

P: Well she didn't want to. At first she wouldn't listen to the idea, but as time went on, she felt it was becoming more and more suspicious that she wasn't. The other Diamonds wouldn't hear a word she had to say about Earth while she wasn't doing everything they thought she could to control it.

G: So she felt like she had to.

A: And then Rose sent out a bunch of Gems to try and shatter herself?

P: Yes. But without support they didn't manage to come very close to accomplishing their goal.

G: Although they took plenty of our friends with them.

P: Pink made plenty of mistakes, I think we're all well aware of that.

S: So how does this involve what you were saying back there?

P: Well, I said that they didn't come close, but that's not entirely true; one of them did.

A: And you think this Halite almost shattered Rose? 

P: Well, it would explain how they were in the armory... and... other things.

G: So what happened exactly, between her and Rose?

P: I don't know, Rose never liked to talk about it much; I always felt terrible about it, the one time I wasn't there and she needed me; she was almost shattered.

A: So she never talked about it to spare your feelings.

P(mumbling): Or because she was embarrassed of me...

S: Pearl! What would make you say that?

P: I'm sorry! It's just... sometimes I wonder if I could've changed things...

G: What's done is done. I'm certain it wouldn't have even crossed her mind to hold it against you.

P: Thanks, all of you.

S: Pearl, you have to remember that you can talk to us, about anything.

P: I'll try. It's hard to get used to after being quiet for so long.

G: We're here for you, Pearl.

A: Yeah, we got you, P!

*Sibilance hugs Prophet*

*Prolific probably starts tearing up or something, Fuck, I don't know*

*So that's pretty nice until thE GREEN FROG FROM SESAME STREET SHOWS UP AND STARTS FUCKIN KILLING EVERYBODY*

*Sike, they just hit a big bump*

*Like the car hits a big bump, and everyone gets jostled around, then the ground becomes very very bumpy, giving everyone the comedy styling of sounding like they're talking through a fan and helping reset the scene so that it can continue without an awkward cooldown*

A(Sounding like they're motorboating a motorboat): WhaAaaAat'S HAaaAApeNNninNNnnng? |Imagine this effect on everything here, except fuck writing it all out|

G: Just a bit of a rough patch!

*Everything's falling down*

P: Ah! I just reorganized everything!

S(modulating in synchronicity with the bumping): UhHUHUHHuhHUuhhuhuhUHuhUHuhuhuh!

*The tires of the van pop, making the ride even more unstable as they skid to a stop*

*Collective yelling and then moaning before and then after they come to a stop*

A: So much for a rough patch...

*Everyone piles out of the van, and looks at it for a bit*

A: Looks like the van's down for the count.

S: How are we going to catch up with them now?

G: Oh, we caught up with them a while ago.

S: What?

G: They started flying faster to try and lose us, but we kept pace, because I am an excellent driver.

*Bit of an awkward pause*

S: Then I guess we try to chase them on foot.

G: They're over there.

*Ghom points out at the horizon, and the crew see a bird in the distance, flying towards a shithole of a mountain range right next door*

P: Do you think Greg will mind the van?

A: I don't think he'll even remember he has a van. Besides, we can come back for it later. Right now let's just get running.

P: But how-

A: Let's work those glutes!  
*Runs off*

P: Amethyst! A-Amethyst!  
*Starts running after them*

*Sweden makes as if they're going to run after them, but Gechtenstalin puts their hand on their shoulder and stops them*

G: Steven, are you sure you're ready for this? There's no turning back.

S: Yes, I'm ready.

G: Good, we can't afford to let them get away again.

S: I know.

G: Then let's get running.

*GypsyCurse takes off first, and Schecter follows a moment afterwards*

*Transition out of that shit*

*Transition into the Goofy Crew climbing the mountain, which is actually a volcano, or a dead volcano, I don't know; the important thing is fuck you*

S: We've been climbing forever!

P: Actually, we've only been climbing for 27 minutes and 14 seconds.

S: How do you know that?

P: Well I do have numerous timepieces stored on my person at all times. I could tell you what time it is in Botswana right now, if you wanted to know.

A: I think I speak for all of us when I say he's good.

G: We only have to climb for a bit longer, the Halite's been circling this mountain for a while; they're due to land anytime.

P: Actually, if their abilities are similar to that of the local fauna; there are some Earth birds that can fly for up to 10 months at a time. Isn't this place incredible?

A: Even at a time like this you still manage to find ways to be a nerd. Respect.

P: *Exasperated Sigh*

S: Look! Over there!

*The Crew look up the mountain, and see the Hilketo un-bird and land on what seems to be a pathway. They look around the area pensively (missing the goofy crew, what with them being a ways down the mountain) then enter a doorway leading into the mountain*

A: Oh! No wonder this mountain looks so familiar! This is Bismuth's place!

S: Do you think Bismuth's here?

P: Well she did say she was making something for the celebration, and I wouldn't put it past her to be working to the last second...

G: We have to get in there.

*The crew start scrambling towards the pathway, and we cut to them actually hauling themselves up onto it, because watching people climb a mountain for like 7 minutes is boring*

*These Diggity Dawgs start tentatively making their way into the... "building"... if you can call it that*

S: Do you think Bismuth's ok?

A: She'll be fine. She knows how to take care of Bismuth(business).

*Sitrep chuckles, but gets cut off by General*

G: We should be quiet, we don't want this Halite surprising us.

A: Talk about uptight.

P: Shhh.

A(Mouthing Silently): Sorry.

*The Krazy Krew of Kalamity cautiously inch forward, deeper into the armory. It's lit almost solely through ambient light of active lava flows; it is very spook.*

*So Haunt*

*Oh mah gawd is that a ghost? No wait, it's just a cum stain on the wall.*

*As they creep their way into the cave... it is still technically a cave, yeah? Hmmm... Live-in cave. Yeah, there we go. Like a cave, but they put in a sofa or something I don't know man.*

*Oh, right; as they creep their way into Bitchin's Cavern of Wonders, they begin hearing what sounds like speaking, or at least what they think is speaking once it gets louder than a choir boy jacking it in the middle of Easter Mass*

*They continue molesting their way closer to the voice, as it gets louder some words begin to be clear*

???(Like you don't technically know who it is, but I mean; it's Boxershorts, and if you have ears you can tell that it's Botox, so who the fuck am I to tell you otherwise. I mean, it is rather quiet at the start of the line, but the crew make it to the door to the room they're in by the end, so you can totally tell and-oh what the fuck ever just... here it is): Shattering people will never solve your problems; the world has a funny way of making sure of that. I mean; Rose Quartz *was* Pink Diamond! If you had done it things would have just gotten worse...

*Steven'sSacred(Or just "The SS" for short) all round the corner right about at the end of that line, and see that it's being said by Bootylicious, who's just sitting in a chair made of skulls or something I don't know what kind of decor they like fuck you*

*Senior knocks over a pile of metal shit, it makes a shit ton of smashy-noised goodness; startling Balaclava, who jumps out of their chair of disembodied uvulas (which is sent falling backwards by the motion)*

B: Oh! Hey! I wasn't expecting you guys!

*The Inquisition all glare at Spanish for a second, what with nearly giving all of them a heart attack there; Shithead awkwardly tries to change focus by responding to Batty*

S(Awkwardly): Hey, Bismuth..

B: You shouldn't sneak up on me like that. And you might want to be more careful around here; I may not be in the Bismuth(business) of making weapons anymore, but there are still a few things lying around that you don't want falling on you.

S: I'll keep that in mind...

P: Bismuth, if you don't mind me asking; who were you talking to just now?

B: Oh? I was just entertaining another unexpected guest.  
*Bakugan gestures over to a corner of the room, but seems shocked to find that there's nothing there*

B: Hmm? Well they were there just a second ago; now where could they have gone...

A: Uhhhh, B?

B: Yeah?

A: Behind you.

*BarelyLegal looks down and sees Halifax peering out from behind one of their legs*

B: What the-

*Boom lifts up their leg and Headshot darts behind the other one.*

B: Now where are you-

*Bear shifts legs and Hippopotamus jumps up onto their back*

*Grylls and crew think Hippolyta is attacking Bacchus, and quickly yoink out their weapons, they make to move towards BashMouth, but all stop when they notice Byrgenwerth is laughing heartily*

*They freeze and stare as Bumpin'Uglies kind of moves in circles and Hogtie just keeps crawling around them, trying to keep Bixby between themselves and the rest of The SS*

S: Hey, Bismuth, are you ok?

B: Of course! Why wouldn't I be?  
*continues laughing, still spinning after Hubris*

A: ... Well this is awkward...

*Bakliva continues laughing for a second, eventually stopping facing The SS as Hickory turns into a small bird and hides in her hair*

B: Why's that?

*A few seconds of silence*

B: What's with the weapons?

*The SS all look down and realize they still have their weapons draw, hurriedly putting them away and trying to act casual*

B: Come on, fellas; what's going on?

A: Well we kind of came here to... um... yeah.

G: We came here for the Halite.

B: What, this little thing? Why would you do that?

S(Sounding unsure, and a tad bit confused): Because, she did some... bad things.

B: Well I'm sure it's nothing an apology won't solve.

*Baccarat picks the bird out of her hair; turning back into Hipbone as Boogieman sets them down in front of her*

*Heatdeath just stands there fidgeting with their hands; they look like they're trying to sink back into themselves and hide (That's figurative, by the way; they're not actually melting)*

B: Go on, then; if someone's upset with you the first step is to apologize.

*Heffer closes their eyes and takes a deep breath before they start talking*

H(Mumbling and staring down at their hands; which are still being wrung): I-

*HalfAMind cuts themselves off, and it's quiet for a second*

B: Remember what we talked about.

*Himalayas takes another deep breath*

H(Much like a child reading through a rehearsed statement that they just want to be over): I am very sorry for what happened I find that I get away from myself alot and I want to get better but Bismuth says that that will be hard, and also take time, but I really want to ok thank you bye.

*Humongoloid dashes back behind BigDick7445 the absolute moment they're done*

B: Well that should clear up that.

*Everyone just kind of awkwardly stands there for a good 20 seconds, because nobody knows what the fuck to do now*

*Buddy is just fine though, standing and smiling; either oblivious to the situation or confidently lying through it*

A: *clears throat*

*After a bit longer cut to them exiting the Forge, Sits and Ass first*

A: I think that may be the single most awkward thing that has ever happened.

S: *Weak chuckle*

*Gurple and Purple exit together, and are in the midst of a conversation*

P: You can't seriously be buying into this apology business!

G: There's nothing we can do.

P: She's just trying to trick us! It's what Halite's do, we can't-

G: Bismuth is vouching for her; if she steps out of line, we'll talk to both of them. Until that happens, we have to treat her like any other Gem.

P: But what if she-!

*Pickles cuts off as they notice Smoked is staring at them. Suede looks concerned, and Punk looks surprised to remember that Suture exists*

P(Curtly): We should get back to the celebration.

S: What about the van?

P: We can come back for it later.

*Poppler starts walking off towards the nearby Warp Pad*

P(Defeated, under their breath): It's not going anywhere...

*The Scooby Gang all walk after Pumba*

*They all line up on the Warp Pad*

A: Well, at least that's all over with.

S: Yeah, everything's all wrapped up...

*They Warp on back to the Pavilion*

*They arrive back at the Pavillion, but it's only a moment before they're interrupted*

WD40: Oh! Steven! We thought we'd come by early to get a sneak-peak at how you're handling preparations for the ball, and it certainly looks.. (Looks at all the damage from the fight surrounding the grounds) Well it certainly has that "Earthly Charm" about it!

S(To himself): Every time... Every. Single. Time.


End file.
